Permission

Permission is the act of allowing someone to do something or allowing something to happen. When I thought about writing this blog post, the word permission kept bringing up memories of permission slips in school. Those forms you have to get signed by your parents so you can go on a school trip or participate in a class event.

Permission is the first word in the series, because in order to truly begin the work of undoing perfectionism you have to allow yourself to do things differently. You need to sign that consent form for yourself to say it’s okay to try this new way of thinking.

There is a children’s book that I used to read to my kids from the Berenstain Bears series called “Inside Outside Upside Down”. The adjustments offered here on new permissions that you will grant yourself feel very much like the title of this book. They will ask you to see things differently. They will invite you to give yourself permission on things you may not have done before. They will invite you to turn some of the messages and learn lessons in this world completely upside down. As with all of my writing, I invite you to take what feels right and best to you, and leave the rest.

Replace Should

We spend everyday of our lives with messages of what we should be doing, should look like, how we should be feeling, how we should act, how we should dress and more. We follow these rules blindly sometimes with them embedded in our subconscious and at the forefront of our ego’s filing cabinet. The effort it takes to try to fit into all those shoulds is exhausting.

This makes me think of the art museum analogy. If we went to an art museum and every single item in the exhibit was a painting of a flower – the same flower, the same exact painting on every floor in every display – how boring would that be. It’s the differences in each work of art, in the artist’s perspective and what they like to do in the mediums that they use that makes it beautiful and different. And that’s what makes this world so beautiful. There are so many different types of humans each one of us with our own unique fingerprint.

Instead of thoughts that tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing, I invite you to connect with yourself. Just as you would guide a friend or a family member, think through what this should is telling you. Then see if it feels right for you. And I stress the word feel, because it is our emotions and our inner triggers or inner knowing that are our best guides.

When you are connected to that part of yourself and you really take a moment to pause and think through what this moment means and feels to you, so you can get a clear understanding of what you want to do or don’t want to do, this is the first step in permission.

Giving Ourselves Permission

In most scenarios when you think about the word permission, it feels like it defaults to giving permission to someone else. Here, in this case, this is all about giving yourself permission. It’s waking up each day and saying that whatever you feel, whatever is happening in your life, whatever is all around you, you have the permission to navigate it however you see fit.

If a situation brings up hard feelings, invokes anger, jealousy, discomfort of any kind, it’s okay to give yourself permission to feel that. If a situation comes up that you have to say no to, give yourself permission to say no. If there’s something you really want to do, and in the past you’ve given it up for other reasons, made a sacrifice for others, it’s okay to give yourself permission to say yes now.

It’s okay to challenge the messages of the ego, the messages of fear, that both love to creep up on us everyday and tell them thanks but no thanks. It’s okay to change the thoughts and remember that you’re a good person who’s doing the best you can with what you have. With permission, we can remind ourselves that we are worthy of love, friendship, wealth, and abundance and give ourselves permission to receive those things in our life.

It’s important to give yourself permission to celebrate your wins. To acknowledge the good things you’ve done. This isn’t arrogance or being conceited. Giving yourself permission to embrace joy and happiness and the moments in life that give you peace and lift you up and make you whole, is a game changer.

Giving ourselves permission to be who we are, is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Whether you are working on making some changes, or happy right where you are, this is the power of permission. To try and succeed, or try and fall down, either way you gave your self permission to try.

With permission we learn that wherever we are, whatever we feel, whatever is happening, whoever we are in this moment, even if everything isn’t okay, it’s really okay.

What will you give yourself permission to do today?